BY BRENDAN CULLEN
The warning signs that we choose not to see are the warnings signs we should listen to the most.
At times, our lives can be compromised by various issues, this could be drought, floods, family break ups, succession discussions or alcohol and other drugs.
Unfortunately, most of us that work in the rural industry will come across these issues at some point, others will know somebody that is going through a tough period. The question I ask is how long you will rest on your heels before you find the courage to ask for help.
I heard from a clinician last year that it takes on average up to eight years to find the courage to put your hand up and ask for help, this is a long time to be dealing with issues that can become crippling to your everyday thinking.
Speaking from experience, I suffered for well over twenty years (hard to believe that someone can suffer for such an extended period of time before they ask for help).
Now I see the warning signs were all around me and I chose not to acknowledge them. I did this as I thought I needed to be resilient, which is what farmers are often told.
Resilience and ego were the two things that stopped me from creating a happier life for myself. Resilience and ego stopped me from being vulnerable and vulnerability is the very thing you need to expose your inner thoughts and find the strength and courage to reach out.
It is a tough but humbling conversation, almost liberating as you have completely freed yourself for a better way of life. The shackles have been released; no longer do you need to hide in the shadows!
The warning signs I experienced were obvious and I dare say there will be plenty of people out there that can concur. Here they are:
*Increased alcohol consumption.
*Brain fog or mental fatigue.
*Self-imposed pressure (Setting unrealistic goals).
*Reclusive habits.
*Living in the past, which reduced my ability to be able to move forward.
*Highly emotional.
*Increased physical exhaustion.
*Helplessness.
*Not being present in both a physical and mental capacity around my direct family.
You know that old saying “I don’t have time”. Let me tell you, you have time, it is just how you choose to use it!!
I have always said, it is exceedingly difficult to self-evaluate your own mental state, hence the difficulty in asking for help. Being vulnerable is a tough gig, although, living a life in the shadows is even tougher, so do yourself a favour and kick that ego down the flat and find the courage to say, “I need help”.